Axeo the alien,s blog.

 Alice just laid an giant silver egg and is sitting on it now to keep it warm. It will be hatching in a months time if it is fertile. Looks like I,m going to be a daddy. Well maybe.  Now I need to get my army ready to take my kingdom back. 

 Alice is in the mood for love and we just kissed for the first time. I might have caused Alice to lay a fertile egg that could if hidden in a safe warm place hatch into a baby alien.  She might be as the humans call it pregnant. 

 Alice and I have been drumming up support for me to take my throne back. I have lots more support than I expected to get. My uncle is trying to tell lies about me. He is making out I am an earthing.  I am trying to get proof that my uncle is telling lies. I think he caused me to crash and might have made Alice's ship run out of fuel. 

 I told them about the crash and my uncle started to cry. I told them to come and get me from earth.  Do you know what my uncle did. He told me he would take over the throne and leave me to rot on earth. With Alice and no one else.  I know how simba felt when his uncle stole his throne from him. Well if he wants a war he shall have one. My uncle Mars is a evil villain like scar.  I have sent a message to my people. They will help.  I hope they will. 

 The spaceship crashed. They are all dead except Alice and my father. We pulled Alice unharmed out of the wreckage. My father was badly hurt. He is going to die. I never expected to become king like this. My father has sighed and... I don't think he's breathing anymore.  Alice has tears in her eyes. I am now the king.  I am the king of titiana.  I am king axeo the 75th of titiana.  And I am bloody (earth swear word.) terrified. 

 Chatted to my father's commander Miss Alice Curtain who is looking for a man to marry. Not. She has made it clear she doesn't want a man to marry her even if he is the future king. She has been given the position my ship crashed at. She is coming to earth on a spaceship to rescue me.  I told her my new position at earth. My father and a few others are coming too. Alice is one of them.  so Bob, Kevin, Stuart, Fred, Grace, Hope, King [DAD] Axeo the 74th and Alice are coming to pick me up on Halloween night or about then. I will let you know when they come.  If you are wondering how we have young. We lay eggs as we are not mammals. We have no nipples. We do not suckle them with milk.  My pet human was shocked to find that out. We also take care of our babies very well. Like elephants or lions do on earth or even crocodiles do.  Anyway the point is that I fancy Alice. I love Alice. I love Alice so much I want to...… kiss her, hold her, squeeze her and make egg...

  i drew my galaxy on my pet lizzie's laptop and she told me about planet earth and the milky way. we then played with sylvanian families. i told her that we respect nature and always plant more trees when we cut one down, we eat what we kill and use the bones and fur left over.  we are omnivores like humans [well some humans are] and eat what we can catch or find.  we can use the power of the black hole in the centre of our galaxy and store the energy in giant batteries. it lasts a while.  also there are eight trillion five hundred thousand eight hundred and seventy two of us and about eight billion of you but don't panic. we are friendly and peaceful. [mostly]  

 We watched hotel transylvania and it was very good and very funny and brilliant. We had a great time. After a hot smoked sausage and chips from one of our local chip shops, The tawny its called, we listened to an audio book and my pet found it so relaxing that she fell asleep before the first CD had finished playing. So cute when she is sleeping like that. 

 Just playing on lizzie, s laptop and playing a game on it. Lizzie is away to work. I hope we can watch a dvd when she gets back. 

 Been listening to earth music today and I love Queen and other 70s and 80s music. Love the modern music too. Must dash need to go to the loo. Eating and drinking well. 

 Scar just flipped Simba on the deck. Simba then kicked Scar off the rock. Simba is the king. Simba has a cub of his own. He has married nala and had kiara. The lion King is a great movie. 

 There's a lot of fighting happening right now. Hyenas and lions are fighting. Simba and Scar are fighting for the crown. I think Simba's been hit with burning embers. He has. Hope he's OK. Oh he is. Get him Simba. Scar killed your dad. 

 Watching Lion King with my pet human. My pet human Lizzie loves this film.  My god there's a stampede. My god. Mufasa. That Scar is evil. Poor Simba. Wish Simba was real so I could have him as a pet. Timon and Pumbaa look great fun. They have him now. 

 They put me in two grey plastic bags then shipped me to Beith North Ayrshire Scotland. I woke up with a high pitched friendly voice saying it's OK. I was being pulled out feet first. I am green and she says I am rather cute. I love her very much. So I live in Beith now. I was very tired after my long journey so listened to the music that my pet human offered me. She fed me hotdogs and pasta for lunch. I ate 8 hotdogs and two helpings of pasta. ( sausages not real dog.)  She's playing you can call me Al. The name is Axeo. I said. She is stroking me. She is very gentle.  She says call me Lizzie. Her name is Elizabeth. 

 Landed in UK and heading to my new home. I will be meeting my human pet soon.  First I will grab some food and eat.  Then I will poop and pee.  Then I will sleep in my box. 

 It seems the chicken soup and being let out the box was a dream. Woke up for real and found myself in an airport. Still in China.  Went back into a deep sleep.  It seems that not only can I type in my sleep. I can also type in the dark. Xray eyes.  I am very hungry now. 

 Luckily the cabin crew let me out the box. Which is good cause I needed to pee and poo. I am eating chicken soup and rice. Or it is better known as chicken and rice soup. It has spices in it and is the best soup I have ever had. It is also the first soup I have ever had. I am to be treated like a king until its time to land then I will go back in the box and sleep a while. 

 It is so hard being taken out of the box then put back in. I was in a country called China. I like their curries and stir frys. Never realised I was so keen on earth food. Luckily for them I am unarmed and friendly. I am headed to the untied Kingdom. Or was it united Kingdom. Anyway back I am in the box and it has two days and another two to go. Luckily I can sleep through most of it. Must nod off now. This boat makes me sleepy.

 It's dark. Very dark. I'm being moved about from pillar to post to mention an earth saying I have heard. I wonder where I am going to. Hope I find out soon. 

Greetings earthling future pets of the future king of titiana I have crashed my spaceship that I got for my 18th birthday and landed in an amazon warehouse. Only to be sold to some human as her pet. I was rudely thrown in a box and parcelled up. I am now labelled as dispatched even though I am still alive. I find it very dark and I must snooze a while. Just shut my eyes for five minutes. I will.